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We thank ye, dear auld Rabble
Burns
For solving a' our food concerns.
Without
thee, who would be so rash
As worshipin' a bag o'
hash?
*****
Fra time ta time, we feel the
need
Tae ha'a good auld Scottish feed.
Yer
"Address" helps us do our best
Tae close our eyes an'
just ingest!
*****
Great chieftain o' the puddin'
race,
Despite yer honest, sonsie face,
Ye must gi'
way tae modern time
An' harken tae updated
rhyme.
*****
Though we yet praise painch,
thairm an'tripe,
We recognize the time is ripe
tae
eat thee, ere the night is gone
By beautiful Loch
Wobegon.
*****
For Swedish food is bland and
drear,
And Scotch out tastes Norwegian beer.
With
haggis, we avoid the risk
Of eating local
Lutafisk!
*****
A Swedish meatball's good
enough
for golfin' through St Andrew's rough,
But
Lefsa's hardly worth a moan
Compared to peat baked
Scottish scone.
*****
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Yet, Minnesota Haggis,
we
Will praise, by yumpin' yiminy!
We'll soon
ingest thee, man by man
We members o'MacThomas
Clan.
*****
There's dellish few, oh
woe betides,
Wa' dinnae love thy sheep's
insides.
Nae ifs, nae ands, nor any buts,
We
worship a' thy sheepish guts!
*****
In olden times, the
haggis -fed
Were sometimes by the medics bled.
But
HMO's now ha' the means
Tae treat us wr their sheep
vaccines.
*****
So, lest ye think us
churlish oaf,
We now await yon drippin' loaf.
An'
we can scarce conceal our haste
Tae savour thy
delightfu' taste.
*****
Oh, joy, the long
awaited feast,
The innards o' some maulde
beast,
Has simmered tae the proper state;
We now
gl'oop our breathless wait!
*****
As we attack yon
festive plate,
Gi' thanks tae share a Scotsman's
fate!
So grab your glass and proudly stand
To give
our shout, "AYE, FINEGAND"!
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