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What joy tae hear our Robin
Thoms
Recite our sacred Scottish Psalms!
But noo,
a word fra’ overseas
Fra’ oot the former
colonies!
****
Four continents ha’ gathered
here
Tae share MacThomas cup o’cheer.
Fra’ distant
lands, our guests ha’ taught,
Nae matter where, yer
still a Scot!
****
We honour Scot tradition now
By
dining on you sacred cow,
But be assured this haggis,
please,
Will nae pass on mad cow disease!
****
In olden times, the haggis
fed
Were sometimes by the medics bled;
But HMO’s
now hae the means
Tae treat us wi’ their sheep
vaccines!
****
So, as this festive meal
begins,
Repent yer gastronomic sins!
Then
afterwards, we’ll raise a toast
Tae celebrate our
Scottish host.
****
We thank ye, dear auld Rabbie
Burns
For solvin a’ our food concerns,
Without
thee, who would be sae rash
As worshipin’ a bag
o’hash?
****
Fra time tae time, we feel the
need
Tae ha’ a good auld Scottish feed.
Yer
“Address helps us do our best
Tae hold our nose, an’
just ingest!
****
Great chieftain o’ the puddin’
race,
Despite yer honest, sonsie face,
Ye must gi’
way tae modern time
An harken tae updated
rhyme
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Through we yet paraise
painch, thairm an’ tripe
We recognize the time is
ripe
Tae meet thy fate in auld Glenshee’s
Historic caravansary.
****
Though here, within our
Fairie Glen,
Thigs happen far beyond our ken,
Wi’
haggis served upon our plate,
We cannae meet a surer
fate!
****
The Devil’s Elbow’s up
the path
An’ we would loath incur HIS wrath;
But
Clach A’ Coilich’s also near,
Should fowl intruders
interfere!
****
We’ll soon ingest thee
man by man
We members o’ MacThomas Clan!
Tae prove
descent fra’ Tomaidh Mhor,
We’ll down you loaf, an’
ask for more!
****
There’s De’ilish few,
oh woe betides,
Wa’ dinnae love thy sheep’s
insides
Nae ifs, nae ands, nor any buts,
We
worship a’ thy sheepish guts!
****
Yon loaf approaches,
sound the pipe!
Bring forth the haggis, warm and
ripe;
For we can scarce conceal our haste
Tae
savour thy delightfu’ taste!
****
Oh, joy, The log
awaited feast,
The innards o’ some maukie
beast,
Has simmered tae the proper state;
We now
gi’ oop our breathless wait!
****
As we attack you
festive dish,
Let’s share MacThomas Clansmen’s
wish;
So, grab yer glass an’ proudly stand
Tae gi’
our shout, “AYE FINEGAND!”
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