if you believe in yourself and continue to do so with
unwavering strength, eventually, you’ll make it
regardless of what other people may say.
*****
Ever since
I was a child I’ve wanted to know what was beyond the horizon.
Watching my father, who was a fisherman in his
younger years, sail away out into the choppy seas ignited a
sense of adventure within me, and what an adventure it’s
been so far.
*****
My love for
music began as a child, four years old, happily swinging my
little legs off the piano stool mapping out the
chords to some old nursery rhyme. I was content, alone with my
music.
*****
It wasn’t
until the age of 12 that I really started to allow the music
to speak my thoughts, and at that tender age I had
a lot to say. My first songs had such terribly tortured titles
as "Where Do I Belong," and "These Are My Glory Days."
Glory days? I was 12! But my imagination was greatly
outrunning my number in years and I knew I had a
passion for songwriting.
*****
I wouldn’t
say that I was "encouraged" to do music by my school, but my
parents were extremely supportive, something
that has come to be invaluable. There is no price you can put
on the support of your parents when you go through your
greatest and worst times in this business— from your first
record deal (for me, in my early 20’s) to the backlash
of the British press, to the worldwide
tours, the drink and the drugs, and finally the
moments of sheer and utter exhilaration, like standing on the
stage at the Royal Albert Hall performing with Dr.
Brian May and John Paul Jones.
*****
I chose a
life of organized chaos and unbelievable highs and lows. I
don’t think the word ‘dull’ ever had a place in my
vocabulary.
*****
There is
one enormous lesson you will learn in life and indeed in the
music industry: finding someone you trust is like gold
dust. I trusted my first manager without a shadow of a doubt;
we were the Bonnie and Clyde of the music biz,
gunning down all that was in our path and never relenting
until we got what we wanted. It was us against the world and we
were unstoppable!
*****
I fell
hard. I was left with nothing—and I mean,
nothing.
*****
Eventually
after years of banging our heads against a brick wall we
struck gold. We came up with an ingenious plan that
would light a fire in the belly of the digital
revolution.
*****
I would be
the first artist to webcast to the world from my basement flat
in London.
*****
And so it
began. We orchestrated it all ourselves, called it "21 Nights
from Tooting." We teamed up with a company that
would provide the bandwidth and for 21 nights we performed
live to the world from my basement.
Progressively, we saw the figures rise, the press picked it up
and then it went absolutely off the
charts.
*****
In a
moment, I had gone from unknown, broke and struggling to a
worldwide phenomenon that everyone suddenly wanted to
speak to.
*****
Literally
within a matter of hours and days I had news vans lining the
streets, photographers at the ready outside my door.
The phone was ringing off the hook, my manager Ian was dancing
around like a drunk little leprechaun, high on the
sudden meteoric rise to fame.
*****
For he and
I had, quite frankly, got one over on the music industry. Then
came the labels—the same labels to which we had
tirelessly, relentlessly tried to shop my first album, to no
avail. In industry terms "we couldn’t get arrested." Now
where were they? Lining the halls of my flat like kids in a
dentist’s waiting room, except we never sent them away
with a free lolly—we sent them away with a sense of, "Oh s**t,
kind of missed the boat on that one!"
*****
Eventually
I signed to Sony BMG and became the first artist ever to sign
a record deal live online, webcasted to the
world.
*****
I went
everywhere—New York, Paris, Milan, Tokyo, Sydney, London, Los
Angeles. You name it, we went there, along with a
gaggle of individuals who each had some kind of purpose. I
believe at one point it got so ridiculous they
even paid for a nail artist to travel with
me.
*****
It started
off amazing. I charted at No.1 in countries all over the
world. I broke the record in Australia for being
the longest standing No.1 and stayed there for 12 weeks. We
toured around the globe, played the biggest festivals
alongside the biggest stars. I was nominated for awards,
attended posh parties, was driven everywhere in my own car. It
was beyond ridiculous, beyond ostentatious, but
it
was all going to end soon.
*****
Much the
same as the rest of the world, the music industry took a
nosedive in 2008. The economy crashed, businesses
went bust and a combination of free downloadable music and the
crash of the economy lead to one giant
cull.
*****
It was not
only myself and several other artists that got dropped from
the label that year; 200 or so staff members also got
dropped. They were out of a job and so was
I.
*****
They say
the higher you climb, the further you fall. Well, I can vouch
for that statement — give someone everything and then
take it all away and watch how they respond. Kind of reminds
me of that movie Trading Places — some will fall and some
will rise up again.
*****
I fell
hard. I was left with nothing—and I mean, nothing. Even my
social networks were deleted, my videos removed, the
fan base I had built lost forever. Why?Copyright issues. So
for a long time, I was lost, completely lost, without a
clue. My label, my team of people, and then my manager all
left me, told me it was over. "Go away and write songs for
other people, you’re no longer an artist—that’s
just not for you, Sandi." That’s what they
said.
*****
For a long
time I contemplated it. Sure, I could write a song, a pretty
good song when I wanted too — but did I want to be
that person? The thing is, I look at myself on stage and I
don’t know who that person is. I can’t ever come to terms
with the fact that it’s me — but that’s just it, without
the Jekyll to my Hide, I am nothing. The only place I know
how truly shine, full of confidence, is on
a stage.
*****
Ironic,
really, considering it’s performance, an act, a well-rehearsed
coordinated show, built to wow and impress — and it
takes balls. But then, when I’m not on stage, I’m shy,
unassuming and quiet.
*****
But they
always did say, "Watch out for the quiet
ones!"
*****
I always
did like to shock people, but I was never particularly
loud-mouthed or obnoxious, even when I attended
performing-arts school. The other kids would dance across the
tables, like they were starring in their own version
of Fame—everyone wanted to take center stage. Me? I wanted to
observe and learn.
*****
And learn I
did. When I was on Sony, I watched intently. I watched what
people were doing and how they were doing it. When I
toured, I watched the tour managers, the road crew, the sound
techs, everyone — I watched and I
learned.
*****
When it
came to setting up my own label, all of these lessons would be
invaluable, but practice makes perfect, and I didn’t
have any practice at all.
*****
Sure, I
thought I knew a thing or two about the business, but little
did I know. I released album No. 3 on my newly formed
record company, Guardian Angels Music (and had the name
tattooed across my back). I had myself branded
so that I gave myself no option to f**k it all
up.
*****
The Third Album
The third album came out, a complete creative 180 from the
previous two. It was bluesy, bold,
loud, dark. Oh so very dark. I had been
forbidden from writing anything with any level of depth while
I was on Sony, because I was on a cookie-cutter pop label and
they didn’t deal in those kinds of
depths. They preferred to dip their toes in the
shallow end. So when I was dropped, it was also when I was
freed—and with this newfound creative freedom I went
right into the depths of my soul and pulled up
the pain of the past and blurted it out in song. "Born
in the Belly of the Blues" had lyrics such
as "Oh how I love to feel the pain, so drown me in
despair, going down to the halls where the
darkness reigns, follow me if you dare, I don’t
know why I can’t explain, no matter how I try its a losing
game, take me to the Cross I bear, I will hang my head
and cry".
*****
Pretty dark
stuff, but also pretty damn liberating. I embraced the change
in my style, loved the freedom—and wild
horses couldn’t stop me from hitting the road with that
record. But then reality set in: How in the hell do
I keep this machine going at the current rate of burn? I was
living in a bubble, not able to conceptualize that
all that financial help was gone, and I would now have to be
at
the center
of not only my musical career but also my
business.
*****
The first
thing I did was I went about firing everyone that was
unnecessary — the expensive London accountants that quite
frankly I didn’t need, the overpaid lawyers, all these people
would have to go. Time to wipe the slate clean and start
over.
*****
And so I
did. I toured again, but this time I downsized from the luxury
of my tour bus to a cold damp splitter van. I drove
myself and my band of merry men up and down the length and
breadth of Britain, determined not to just
fade away into obscurity like some whimpering flower that
can’t stand the bleak winter. I was
determined to hang in there and show this world that it takes
more to break this fiery little Scots woman
down. I even pushed myself so far, I contracted swine flu and
had to spend two weeks holed up in a hospital, then a
hotel room while my mother battled the winter snow and frost
to try and rescue me.
*****
It wasn’t
easy. It tested every bone in my body, and there were moments
where I failed miserably, made the wrong decisions,
let people down unintentionally. I continually questioned
myself. But the one thought that kept
driving me was, "What else can I do?" I only know this life, I
couldn’t live without it — I would be dead
inside.
*****
That was
the one thing that no one could ever understand. People would
tell me time and time again, 'Sandi, be smart.
You’re a great writer — go out and write, make money and be
happy.' But I wouldn’t be happy, I’d be a
tortured unfulfilled little soul desperate to get out there,
to travel and perform.
*****
The year
2010 saw the release of “Merchants & Thieves,” an album
that introduced me to a whole new audience and certainly
dumbfounded critics; it was not what they had expected from
me. The album featured a duet with an extremely
talented guitar player called Joe Bonamassa; we fell in love
and are still together*. (But that’s
another story for another time!) I toured this album with the
band, and the shows were great. We had a blast, but the band
represented another phase of my life and it was
time to move on.
*****
So I said
goodbye to them, to the past, to the producer, also to my
ex-partner, and in 2011, I met Rich Robinson, the
Black Crowes Guitarist.
*****
It was a
chance occurrence, something of a fluke, but it was meant to
be. We recorded my fourth album in Nashville and he
produced it, surrounded by some of the most incredible
musicians. The stars aligned for me finally. They say good
things happen to good people and to those who wait. I feel
like acts of kindness and the continual display of humility,
determination and courage will eventually buy
you enough credit in the favor bank that the universe
will pay you back in some wonderful way. I felt
that with this record — some of my best material, my
best vocal performances — I was showcasing my
harmonica playing, my electric guitar solos, and just
having the time of my life. Now that’s what
music is all about!
*****
Not only
that, but one of my many dreams came true when I did a duet
with the legendary Buffy Sainte-Marie. She was
incredible, divine and the true definition of a star—always
smiling, never complaining, true to the art and to
herself.
*****
Having
received the most horrifying backlash from the British media
back in 2008—they called me "the Anti-Christ of Music"
and groused, "Ever feel like you’ve been had?" — I was only
too happy when the album received glowing reviews, not only
in the UK but also in the U.S. I had rebuilt my reputation
in
Europe and
had my sights set on North America.
*****
But my
growth was stunted by the mere fact that I didn’t have
worldwide distribution anymore. So that was the next big
challenge that lay ahead of me.
*****
I was given
the name of a gentleman called Ron Spaulding, then CEO of
Fontana Distribution, and so I got to work—calling,
hounding, emailing, and I guess he caved in the
end.
*****
I marched
into the NBC Universal building, clip-board in hand, armed
with all the information necessary and I did my
very best to impress. As fate would have it, Ron and I were
going to be in London at the same time, and so we had
dinner. In addition to myself, there was another label
looking for their "big break" with Fontana. I
didn’t have any impressive figures to show him like they did —
in fact, I had no sales history at all in North America on
my label. If I was to secure a distribution
deal, it would be the “stuff of legend” as one friend
called it. All I had to show was my drive
and passion. But was that enough?
*****
I will
never forget the moment that we finished the meal and Ron
turned round to me rather unexpectedly and said
"Sandi I’m going to give you a chance." I swear I burst into
tears and ran into the toilet. I felt like the last three
years of constant struggle—and the realization of what I
had just been through and overcome—hit me in that
moment.
*****
The mere
fact that this man, this powerful individual, saw something in
me, and he believed in me, touched my heart so
deeply I cannot describe it. He believed in me, and that is
something that we all need in this life.
*****
Since that
day, I confess, there are always struggles but I choose to see
them not as obstacles but as challenges.
*****
Now two
years on, I run the entire operation with two other people.
One has been working with me for eight years; the other
one is a dear, dear friend. Last year I released my fifth
album entitled “The Covers Collection”;
appeared at the Royal Albert Hall with Dr. Brian May & Led
Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones; and successfully
Sandi Thom with Brian May
toured the UK, Australia, China, Scandinavia and North
America. This year will see me tour with my One Woman Show in
North America, New Zealand, Australia, the UK &
Ireland, Holland, Germany and Scandinavia. I’m
also set to release my first DVD and my sixth
album.
*****
There is
nothing that anyone could say to me to make me change my mind
about choosing this career. It’s not a job, its a
way of life — I live for the music, and the fans are just the
most generous, kind and wonderful people
in the world. they have watched me go through incredible highs
and tremendous lows, but in eight years, they never left
my side. I only ever want to write music that touches
people, moves them, helps them or even heals them. I do
it all for them, because their support
over the past eight years has been what’s kept me going —
that and a s**t load of whisky.
*****
Seriously
though, as Brian May said to me when I came off stage at the
Royal Albert Hall: "Wow! Where have you been hiding?"
"Well, Brian," I said, "I was there all along, just took a
little longer that I expected for you to find me." Don’t ever
give up on your dreams, not matter how long it takes, or how
many times you fall. You have to pick yourself back up
by the boot straps and keep going.
Webmaster note:
* Since this article was published
Sandi Thom and Joe Bonamassa have sadly split
up.
The only limitations
that we face in our lives are the ones we put on ourselves.
That was what someone once said to me. In other words,
